My laws on Software Project Management!

Here is a look at the lighter side of software project management. ENJOY!!!

1. The silliest bug will find your best customer.
2. If a software code has been found defective, its author has just embarked on a plane to the US.
3. After improving quality from 95% to 99%, the remaining 1% defects will find its way to your regular paying customer.
4. The moment you disciver that additional testing is required, the software code has lareday been FTP'd to your customer.
5. The number of Quality Control Procedures followed is inversely propotional to the number of programmers who folow them and the number of project managers who understand them.
6. The number of testing cycles that an application undergoes is directly proportional to the number of defects it is shipped with.
7. The best product that marketing wants to sell is the one which 'Product Delivery' is least interested.
8. The product in which both marketing and 'Product Delivery' agree upon is th eone in which the customer is least interested.
9. A mission critical application is likely to break down because of the smallest unit of code.
10. The probability of an application failing increases rapidly as the warranty period is about to expire.
11. A random sample in a Customer survey will not include a disgruntled customer.
12. The project manager who complains about quality the most is the one who understands quality the least.
13. If a company has just obtained its quality certification (ISO/CMM), customers have recently complained about the numerous bugs in the application.
14. When your client asks about a missing business requirement in the specifications, its probably the first time you ask the same question yourself.
15. When you conduct a training program, the person who needs it most will be firefighting to attend it.
16. During the arer times a manager enquires about a certain project, the projectmanager is on leave.
17. 90% of the software defects are discovered by your client, the rest by your testing team
18. The client who demands the most prompt delivery is the least prompt in payment.
19. The intensity or length of a company's celebration in launching a product or obtainig a project is inversely proportional to the life of it.
20. The more eloquent or impressive a presentation to a prospective cleint is, the more bleak is the chances of them buying the idea.